黑色幽默走出中國

李大立

閱王洛莞先生大作「中國網絡草根詞語顯示力量」，真是又悲又喜，悲哀的是數千年文明古國被中共政權作賤了六十年，變成了一個公義缺失、道德淪喪的國家；欣喜的是現時中國網民已達三億八千四百萬(見１月１５日中國互聯網絡信息中心（ＣＮＮＩＣ）在京發布《第２５次中國互聯網絡發展狀況統計報告》) ，在話語權被高度壟斷的國度裏形成了強大的民間輿論，迫使中共不得不懲處被網民窮追猛打的貪腐濫權官吏，迫使中共不敢再欺壓弱小群體予捕予殺。用海外輿論的話說就是「網民拿到話語權，改變了遊戲規則，促進了法制化，撼動了官僚體制，網絡問政給中國民主帶來一線曙光。」

更可喜的是中國大陸獨有的網絡詞彙黑色幽默走出了中國，讓世界各國了解今天中國大陸的社會現狀，爭取他們對中國民主化的理解和支持。在此筆者為王先生的大作作些補充，將近年來蒐集到的中國大陸新創英文網語，摘精彩者加以註譯列舉如下，供讀者欣賞和指正：

No Z Turn 不折騰 [筆者註：由No U Turn(不准掉頭)演變而成，意即不准Z形左右搖擺，Z Turn與中文「折騰」諧音] 

[v] The general public believes this is the most lifelike word; Hu Jintao has said during his term in office.

[動詞] 海外輿論普遍認為這是胡錦濤任內唯一稍生動的語句。 

[ie].In the event of celebrating China’s thirty years of reformation, the fellow audiences were all laughing up their sleeves at Hu Jintao, when he spoke a word? “not tossing about ” use a north vernacular . But how to translate it for English, actually tossed about all of the Chinese. Had not found any English word matched with, finally have to directly use a Chinese spelling “buzheteng”.

[例句] 胡錦濤在紀念改革開放卅周年會議上講話時，用了一句北方通用白話「不折騰」，當時引起與會中共官員的笑聲，但「不折騰」的英文譯法，卻折騰了一大幫人。始終沒有找到合適的譯法，最後惟有直接用「不折騰」的漢語拼音「buzheteng」。  

Smilence 笑而不語 [筆者註：由Smile(微笑)和Silence(寂靜) 交錯合成]

 [v] When you are expecting response from Chinese, you may just only get a mysterious smile and silence from them.

[動詞] 當你期望從中國聽眾那裡獲得一些回答的時候，你祗能得到神秘的微笑和他們的沉默。

 [ n]. Smile without a word.

[名詞 ] 笑而不語的表情

 [ie]. When someone asked Uygurs what happened in Xinjiang during July, 5th, 2009, most of them smilenced.

[例句]當被問及新疆七五事件之後發生了什麼？許多維族人笑而不語。

 Democrazy 民主妄想 [筆者註：由Democracy(民主)中改一個字母C為Z，包含了Crazy(瘋狂)，與Democracy諧音]

[ n]. Democrazy is an illusive system that a handful of Chinese fantasized the leader of the country is decided by election.

?[名詞] 極少數中國人所想像的由人民通過投票來選擇領導者的一種妄想中的制度。 

[ie]. In a mysterious place such as China, where the only way to cure this disease “democrazy” is sending patients into psychiatric hospital or prison.

[例句]在中國這片神奇的土地上，要治療民主妄想這種危險疾病的方法就是進精神病醫院或監獄。 

Freedamn 自由該死 [筆者註：由Freedom(自由)和Damn(該死)交錯合成，與Freedom諧音].

 [n] Once you think you can do what you want to do, you are also damned in Malegebi.

[名詞]一旦你以為自己可以想做什麼就做什麼，你在馬勒戈壁也就玩完了。 

[ie] Life is dear, love is dearer. Both can be given up; then all you have is freedamn.

[例句]生命誠可貴，愛情價更高，二者均已拋，自由也未到。  

Shitizen 屁民 [筆者註：由Shit(糞便)和Citizen(公民)交錯合成，與Citizen諧音] 

[n] A shitizen is referring to a particular country such as China, where by law; the right of the citizen is granted. But in reality, it is all on the other way round.

[名詞] 屁民是在特定的國家，如中國，在法律上被認定屬於這個國家但沒有任何公民權利的“公民”。 

[ie] "I rank the same as your city mayor, and you only a shitizen!" quote from a drunk high-ranking Chinese official, Mr. Lin.

[例句]中國林先生，一位高級官員在酒後說：“我和你們市長一個級別，你祗是個屁民！” 

Innernet 內聯網 [筆者註：由Inner(內部)和Internet(聯網)交錯合成，與Internet諧音]

Yakshit 亞克屎 [筆者註：由Yak(亞克)和Shit(糞便)合成，與維語亞克西(好)諧音]

 [n] In certain regions, such as China, North Korea, Iran and etc., the access of the internet is only allowed to restricted network.

[名詞] 在某些特定的地區或國家，如中國、朝鮮、伊朗等，僅與被批准的通信網絡和電腦相聯的網絡。 

[ie] "What is Yak Shit? What is Yak Shit, ah? Innernet is Yak Shit!"

[例句] “什麼亞克屎？什麼亞克屎？啊，內聯網亞克屎！”  [筆者註：毛時代維族歌曲「人民公社亞克西」歌詞：什麼亞克西？什麼亞克西？人民公社亞克西！]

 [ie] On the Chinese New Year celebration TV program, the song Yakshit instantly becomes a big hit. According to the Times, the lyric of Yakshit has been very popular on the internet. 

[例句]虎年春節聯歡晚會上的熱門歌曲全文歌詞英譯，《亞克屎》成了新年最紅的網語。(《泰晤士報》) 
 
Departyment 有關部門 [筆者註：在Department (部門)中加一個字母Y而成，包含了Party(黨)，與Department諧音] 

[n] In China, there is a department in charge of almost everything. But it is being very mysterious about its existence; people can nowhere to find it.    

[名詞] 最為神秘的中國部門，它主管幾乎所有的事，但你永遠無法找到它

 [ie] When Google planning to negotiate with the Chinese official about its threat of pulling out of China, there is no such a departyment can talk to.

[例句] 當谷歌說要和中國的有關部門談判撤出中國的威脅時，它發現找不到這個“有關部門”。

 Suihide 躲貓貓 [筆者註：由Suicide (自殺)中改一個字母C為H，包含了Hide(躲藏)，與Suicide諧音] 

[v ] Self-murder by playing hide-and-seek

[動詞] 躲貓貓式自殺

 [ie] The word suihide first appear from the incident of Mr. Qiaoming Li, who was arrested on charge of cut down a tree in Kuming city, Yunnan province. 10 days after his arrested, he was found dead, the police report stated he accidently fell down when joining hide-and seek with other offenders.

[例句]“躲貓貓”一詞來源於李蕎明的經歷，他因涉嫌砍伐了一棵雲南省昆明市的樹木而被拘禁，在拘禁十天後他被發現死亡。警方出具的最早的報告稱他是在拘留所裡和其他犯人玩“躲貓貓”游戲時意外身亡。

 Don’train 動車 [筆者註：由Don’t (不要)和Train(火車)交錯合成，與中文動車諧音] 

[n] A bullet train which most Chinese cannot afford.

[名詞] 大多數的中國人乘不起的先進的高速列車

 [ie] When officials were told the airplane fare are unaffordable to most of migrant workers during Spring Festival reunion. The officials responded, "Now they have the option of taking the Don'train."

[例句] 當被告知多數的農民工沒錢乘飛機回家過年時，官員們的回答是“現在他們可以乘動車嘛！”

 Jokarlist 妓者 [筆者註：由Joke(玩笑)和Journalist(記者)交錯合成] 

[n] A person, whose job is to report dishonest story for various media, and making it not quite obvious like a joke.

[名詞] 一名為報紙、雜誌、廣播或電視制造虛假消息，並使它們顯得不那麼像笑話並以此為職業的人。

 [ie] Every jokarlist make such statement when they start their professional career, "I swear that in my professional life, I will only write story for those who gave me red packet and make sure offend nobody."

[例句] 每位妓者在開始其職業生涯時都要做如下聲明：“我宣誓，我僅為那些給我紅包的人寫作，並確保無人將因為我的報道而發怒。”

 Chinsumer 中國消費者 [筆者註：由China(中國)和Consumer(消費者)交錯合成] 

[n] Refer to those Chinese who still can spend a fortune in China, to save America, EU and Taiwan from financial crisis.

[名詞] 那些可以在金融危機中同時拉動中國、美國、歐盟和台灣內需的中國人。

 [ie] Why there are needs of exporting our value in order to become a superpower? As long as we can export Chinsumers, nobody would look down on us.

[例句] 為什麼我們需要輸出價值觀才能成為強國？祗要我們能輸出中國消費者，就沒有人會小看我們。

 Sexretary 秘書 [筆者註：由Sex(性)和Secretary(祕書)交錯合成，與Secretary諧音] 

[n] An assistant who satisfied the boss in every ways.

[名詞] 幫助老板滿足任何時間任何需要的助手

 [ie] Bill Clinton, a successful character who has a wonderful wife and a dozen sexretaries.

[例句] 比爾．克林頓，作為一名成功的男人，有一名出色的太太和一打秘書。

 Canclensor刪審 [筆者註：由Cancle(刪除)和Censor(審查)交錯合成] 

[v] A protective action by Big Brother who always take care of you with your own money. For example, they cancel inappropriate on-line content since they think it is harmful for you.

[動詞] 一種由老大哥做出的保護性行動，由他代表你用你自己的錢來照顧你，比如說，刪除不健康的網上內容，使你不至受害。

  Emotionormal 情緒穩定 [筆者註：由Emotion(情緒)和Normal(正常)交錯合成] 

[adj] Being calm and reasonable, usually with the smilence expression

[形容詞] 非常平靜和講理的心態，通常此時當事人會笑而不語。

 [ie] After Yangjia's execution, his mother was reported emotionormal from the psychiatric hospital , according to the state-owned media.

[例句] 楊佳被處決後，國營媒體說，他媽媽在精神病院裡情緒穩定。

 Harmany 河蟹 [筆者註：由Harmony(和諧)中改一個字母O 為A，包含Many(很多) ] 

[adj ] The stable situation where everybody is emotionormal and there is no sign of unrest at all

[形容詞] 每個人都情緒穩定，沒有任何群體性事件跡象的美好狀態

 [ie] We have been in a harmany society for too long to remember what harmony is.

[例句] 我們在一個河蟹的社會呆得太久以至已忘了什麼是真正的和諧。

(寫於2010年3月15日，香港)

—— 原载: 《纵览中国》